THE MYTH OF FINDING A MATE.
Through our many years growing up in families and witnessing experiences around us, I believe that one of the main causes of problems after marriage is the lack of knowledge or inaccurate knowledge before marriage. It never ceases to amaze me how many misconceptions, self-delusions, erroneous assumptions, and naive “pie-in-the-sky”expectations people bring into a marriage relationship. Bad information spawns unrealistic expectations, which lead inevitably to disappointment and disillusionment later. As computer programmers like to say, “Garbage in, garbage out. ”A successful dating life, not to mention a successful marriage afterward, depends on accurate knowledge. Knowledge is the curative for bad information.
Proverbs 24:3-4 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Wisdom, understanding, and knowledge can be found in many different ways, but the two best sources are God Himself and the wise counsel of trusted mentors. Again, the words of The Proverbs: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline” (Prov.1:7), and, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Prov.15:22).
Success rarely occurs without planning, and plans without wisdom usually fail. God has given us the capacity to make plans, but He expects us to look to Him to make them succeed: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps” (Prov.16:9). From this we find two principles that are necessary for our success in anything.
First, we need a plan, and second, we need godly wisdom for executing that plan successfully. The plan is our responsibility; the wisdom for its execution comes from God. If we want a successful dating life, we must plan for that success. Unless we plan for success, itwon’t happen. Then we must learn and follow God’s principles in order for our plan to succeed. We must make plans in our hearts and then trust the Lord to guide our steps. Even careful, well-laid plans will fail if they are based on faulty information. That is why it is important to have accurate knowledge before we start. It is much easier to avoid mistakes in the beginning than to correct them inmid-stream. Bearing this in mind, it is time to do a little myth smashing. A myth is an idea or a concept that is widely held to be true, yet has no foundation for its veracity—its supposed truth has never been tested. It is an unfounded or false notion that many people nonetheless assume to be true.
There are many myths in our culture regarding the finding of a mate that continue to flourish, even though they are the cause of much confusion and disappointment for people who get caught up in them. I want to take time and discover these myths.
